Unintended Envoy
by Chowatron
Summary: A soldier, a linguist and a doctor. Three men that normally would walk past one another are forced to meet as they find themselves on a strange new planet. Now they must co-operate to not only find a way back home but to establish their organisation, the United Nation, with whatever resources they can acquire.
1. Chapter 1

Unintended Envoy

Chapter1: Strangers In a Strange land

Erik's journal/diary

Entry 1

Time: GMT+1 22:43 19th March 2019

Local Time: unknown time (late evening) Year: 4 LR (Luna's Return)

It was recommended to me that I keep a journal/diary of events. For what reason I'm unsure; perhaps in the far future, someone may see this and find out what happened to those nobodies that disappeared in such an inexplicable way. What the difference between the two is, I'm not quite sure. I imagine a journal to be a simple collection of observations and a diary to feature personal thoughts, feelings and ramblings, much like this one.

OK, let's make this the first real paragraph. To any sane person the photograph on the page opposite to this one is a fake. Three grown adult (and I should probably add human) men, standing next to a variety of brightly coloured (they teach Oxford English in Europe) horses, or as they prefer to be called 'ponies'.

We can get to them later though…for now, let's start with us humans. On the far left the tall one wearing the tactical vest with the short but not shaven brown hair is Thomas Beckman, he's the soldier of the group. He's from America, somewhere in California I remember he mentioned. Under normal circumstances we would be loose acquaintances at best, but he is a pretty cool guy.

Next we have Doctor Benjamin Miles. He wears glasses (just to add to the whole doctor image, I swear he doesn't need them.) He can be a bit of a downer, but I don't really blame him; it seems as though fate has slapped him more than once. He is a really smart guy, but not enough, apparently. He almost got accepted into Cambridge and Harvard refused him.

Centre right; the one with the centre parting is me. I grew up in the Federal Republic of Germany; I could probably tell you everything about me right now, but if we get home and I can get this published, it would make a bad story. No fun if you know everything about a character before the end of the first page. That's just my opinion; I'm a language expert, not literature.

Remember I said I'd get to the ponies later? Well, you'll have to wait a bit longer.

Do you remember the horizon event? A universe wide event; systems across galaxies lining up for a brief amount of time. A high altitude viewing station was set up in the Alps; the UN pledged a large amount of support to the cause of the capture and observation of this phenomenon. I was there as an interpreter (science has no one language). It must have been about five minutes before when I walked into the room with a group of astrophysicists, the lead one enthusing in mandarin while I translated to English.

Walking into the room, it was impressive. A wide open room, with lots of screens and various instruments around the edges. A few armed security guards stood on the corners of the pentagonal room. The guards seemed to not want to get in the way and adopted a policy of laissez-faire. The centrepiece of the room was the large telescope. I almost let my interpreting fall out of sync. Almost.

Simultaneously in a far off land, preparations were also being made for the horizon event. Although their equipment was not as sophisticated, they still took this no less seriously. The room was only of a modest size. That was before its was filled with observers. Being situated at one of the tallest parts of the castle, it was an ideal spot for observation.

The room stopped for a moment as a figure entered the doorway "How are we coming along with the preparations sister?" Princess Celestia asked, walking into the room. The other ponies, used to seeing their matriarch, carried on with their business.

Luna dismissed the unicorn she was talking to, and turned to face her sister. "All goes well." Replied the Princess of the Night, trotting across the room. "The time soon approaches, you should stay."

Celestia considered the offer before saying, "I thank you for the offer but I wouldn't be of much help. I wouldn't want to impede you."

Luna looked her sister in the eye before meekly saying, "I would…like you to stay."

Celestia nodded in response before asking the big question: "When does it start?"

"It's starting." I called out to everybody. Everyone took their positions, knowing what to do. Well, I didn't. My official obligation was to ensure language barriers didn't intervene with preparations, but I still remained. This was history in the making and wanted to tell my children I was there (on a sad note I'm not even sure if I'll have children anymore. That would mean finding someone I liked, has the same number of chromosomes as me and is of the opposite sex).

On an instrument to my side I could see a band of radiation on the electromagnetic spectrum I wasn't familiar with, but I'm no expert so I turned my head, looking around for someone to ask. Since everyone else was calm I just dismissed it as lack of knowledge on my part.

I looked at another screen showing the countdown. Full line-up in: 00:00:10

I felt an odd shiver in the room. At the time I dismissed it as anticipation: it tends to get to me.

00:00:07

My legs shook and my stomach felt drained of blood. More severe than usual, but I still dismissed it.

00:00:05

The room began to shake others; noticed it. Not anticipation.

00:00:04

The unusual wavelength reached a very high frequency.

00:00:03

An anomaly of some sorted formed in the room. The guards rose their weapons and shouted for everyone to flee the room. Most people didn't need telling twice from the looks of things. I noticed someone standing still, looking at the anomaly in awe, maybe fear. I ran to grab him.

00:00:02

A security guard had the same idea as me. He ran in front, weapon raised, while I shook the man back to his senses. An admirable display of wordless coordination.

00:00:01

We begin to move back, but the anomaly flares up, consuming us.

00:00:00

I wish I could explain this better. I'm still unsure as to what happened but I saw the brightest, whitest light. And there was the sensation of falling, but not landing.

When I came around, my heartbeat was heavy, mind even more so. I tested my major muscle groups: they all responded minus one. My left arm was on strike; must have slept on it.

I opened my senses up to my surroundings. Grass and dirt were beneath me. I could see the man we had 'saved'. He lay next to me, still unconscious.

"Hey." A familiar voice inquired. "You awake?" I pushed the ground with my right arm to turn onto my back and face the voice. I had many questions, but they all seemed to be variations of the same thing.

"What happened?" A man stood over me with an MP5 slung over his shoulder by the strap. I recognised him as the guard.

"Damned if I know. But," A smile rose to his face. "We're not in Kansas anymore." I smirked slightly as I rose to my feet. Once I did, his tone got harsher. "What the hell were you doing interfering with my job like that? I'm supposed to keep people safe so people like you don't play hero." There was a moment of silence. "However, since every other guard in the room ran, thanks for trying. I'm sorry, I suppose I could have a least told my name first. Thomas Beckman." He extended a hand.

"Erick Klein." I took his hand and shook it, my brain acknowledging some of what was said.

"Once Mr Gawker over there wakes up, we'll get moving."

"Which way?" Thomas just shrugged in response. I unzipped one of my pockets and removed my smartphone. After typing in my passcode (my year of birth, oh the originality) I checked for a signal. None.

"Unless you have a satellite phone, that's getting you nowhere. Wait, can you see that over there?" Thomas pointed to a mountain in the distance. I walked up to his side and had my eyes follow the gesture. I could see a mountain in the distance. Focusing harder (not easy with a rising sun on your face), I could make out a plateau that had a castle on it. It looked to be European, crossed with a touch of fairy tale inspiration.

"Well, I've never seen anything like that before."

"We flew over the area as you ordered, your majesty. It was dark but you should be able to see everything." The guard pony handed over a file loosely containing several photos; Celestia gave her thanks and opened the file.

The pictures detailed three creatures not of equine or any other known category of species. Celestia could only make general notes. It was hard to tell but they seemed to be considerably taller than the average pony, almost her size. They had four legs, two close to the head that ended in hands. Celestia guessed that would make them forelegs. They were bi-pedal judging from the spacing and length of the legs and the forelegs; they had a special name, arms, if she remembered correctly. She could also see they mammalian due to the fact they had areas of skin underneath their clothes and hair the on their heads.

The photos confirmed the worst. The magical spike brought through life. The question was how to approach them. If they were hostile, they couldn't be allowed to roam free but, what could she do then? Celestia cast her doubt aside. They wore clothes so it would be right to assume they had some level of civility about them.

"Care enough to share?" This voice surprised Celestia; she was too caught up in herself to remember she was in the company of her sister

"Of course." She gestured with a hoof for her to come closer. She did. After looking over them for a second, she pointed to an object that was metallic; it was attached to a strap worn around the neck.

"What's that?" Luna inquired.

"I'm not sure. It has a grip so a tool or weapon at a guess." Celestia mused, still uncertain as to what to do. If that was a weapon it was different to anything faced before and could pose a risk to the population of Equestria. However, only one of them seemed to carry a weapon. "This is a delicate matter. How do you think we should approach this?"

"I can take a few guards and meet them, while you get in contact with the elements and tell them to come. I don't think we should tell anypony that doesn't need to know until we can ascertain the intentions of the new arrivals." Luna answered somewhat excitedly, like she had been waiting for that question.

"That's a good plan, but are you sure you want to take on the responsibility of first contact?" Celestia's voice expressed a level of concern.

"It's almost as if you've forgotten it was I who established relations with almost half of Zebrica." Luna replied dismissing her sister's doubt.

"The elements can be here by evening." Celestia said, turning to make her leave.

"If you're a doctor, can you explain what happened?" Thomas asked: he sounded annoyed. I couldn't think less of him for it; I wanted answers as well.

Miles seemed to give an awkward laugh before saying a single word: "Psychiatry." This made Thomas snap. He broke out into a fit of laughter before exhaling deeply and saying something to himself that I couldn't make out, which was probably for the best.

Between the three of us, we had little in the way of survival skills. Thomas began walking towards the castle on the mountainside. I had no idea how he would manage the vertical aspect, but he seemed to the type of person that faced problems as they come.

We walked for about an hour. Me and Miles made some small talk, exchanged stories and the like. Thomas spoke out occasionally when he had something smartass to say. Miles seemed a little misanthropic when talking about certain topics. Someone should give him the positive attention he deserves, so I praised him whenever I could without being condescending. I don't think he cared much for the attention, but I think he was grateful for the gesture

We were discussing our favourite soft drinks (the good ol' Coke vs. Pepsi debate) when Thomas stopped still and raised his weapon. He hissed at us to be quiet and motioned upwards with his weapon. I looked up and was greeted with a strange sight. The simplest way to describe it would be a 'Sky Chariot'. It looked like it was being pulled by horses with wings. Pegasi. They didn't have the type of wings I would have imagined. They were black and scaly, like a bat's.

"Doc," Thomas addressed Miles. "I'm not slipping into psychosis am I?"

"Psychosis is actually a generic term used to-"Miles shook his head, "No, I'm seeing it too."

The thing seemed to be getting lower, preparing to land near us. It came down and gracefully landed, with little dirt displaced. A creature came out. I assumed it to be of importance, hence the escorts, but you could also tell by looking it over. it was taller, had feathery wings that when unfurled would have a long wingspan. A horn adorned her head. That surprised me little, like it somehow made sense that if there are pegasi, a unicorn wouldn't be out of place.

The figure and the guards approached us slowly, they were as cautious around us as we were them. As they got closer Thomas jerked his weapon, in response the guards raised theirs. They were technologically outmatched but they still looked determined, whether out of true resolve or ignorance of modern weaponry, I was unsure.

I walked out in front of Thomas, much to his irritation, and raised my hands before making a gesture.

"Everyone, calm down." I said, palms pointing downwards. Thomas let go of a breath he was holding and lowered his gun to a more neutral position, the guards returned this act.

The leader spoke in a language I didn't recognize. There was no aggression evident in the voice; the pitched tipped me of that they were female

"I don't understand." I said, to no response. No big deal: English is just one of my languages. "Ich kannst nicht verstehen? No eniendo? Je ne comprends pas?" The leader's expression changed on the last one. She nodded at me. I remember thinking some along the lines of: 'Well, of course the Pegasus-unicorn knows French'.

"Nous ne vous voulons aucun mal (we mean you no harm)." I said.

"Bonnes nouvelles. Je suis la Princesse Luna, je dois vous demander de venir avec moi."

"They seem friendly." I said over my shoulder. "The lead one is royalty and wants us to go with them." I turned my attention to the princess. "Nous amierions avoir une assurance de l'mmunite diplomatque." Playing it safe, I pleaded for diplomatic immunity. They had some sort of hierarchy, so hopefully they had some form of diplomacy.

The princess nodded in response and turned around, gesturing with a hoof for us to follow. I noticed a mark on her flank. It was in the shape of a crescent moon.

As I went to catch up, Thomas and Miles started a small exchange.

"Makes sense for them to have an escort, being royalty and all." Thomas mused.

"Wish I had a personal guard." Miles murmured, just loud enough to hear.

"You got me." Thomas offered.

"One that isn't such a wise guy."

"No can do on that one, I'm afraid." Thomas came back with, shrugging his shoulders.

Luna remained quiet through the flight; on occasion she looked at the creatures, but always turned away before she could raise suspicion. It was lucky that at least one of them spoke a recognisable language. The language barrier was always difficult to work around, as she remembered it. Where they learnt Prench was also a prominent question. She had been to Prance before, and had not seen anything like the current occupants of her 'vehicle'. Although there was some uncertainty as to their origins, there was relief in the fact they were friendly.

It was a short flight. The clouds were few and there were no other obstructions. As they approached the castle, an elevated landing area came into view. The descent was expertly executed, like it had been done many times before. They stopped roughly in the middle of the area, which spanned only 120 meters: a narrow window, depending on the speed. Luna could see some discomfort on the faces of her guests after the landing. It shouldn't have come as a surprise; they more than likely were not used to flying, lacking wings. Luna motioned for them to disembark they all did, nodding their thanks.

The three all cleared to make room for Luna to pass. She could hear them talking, likely exchanging thoughts. She addressed one of the pegasi at the front.

"Grey, you shall escort us."

"With the utmost respect your majesty; my job entails getting you to places, not wiping your flank when we arrive." he said, his demeanour was casual and the lack of enthusiasm in his voice made him come across as nonchalant. Luna did loathe him and his lazy attitude at times, but he was capable in his role.

Luna in response looked sternly at him. She took a deep breath in, and then out again, before saying flatly, "You would do well to not make me look bad in front of company."

Showing indifference Grey loosened himself from his harness and walked behind Luna.

I've flown before, lots of times in fact, but that normally involved a layer of aluminium between me and the open. The airstrip was notably smaller than any I had seen. On the other hand, it wasn't designed to accommodate a Boeing aircraft.

Luna gestured for us to dismount first, everyone got the message. Thomas was first out, then Miles, then me. We didn't loiter around, clearing away for the princess.

"This place sure looks nice up close, think it's got a pool?" I said jokingly.

"Isn't that a prerequisite? " Thomas asked, examining the building

"It is a royal palace, not some mansion." Miles said, with a serious face; this killed the mood a little. I looked over to Luna; she was talking to one of her guards. He seemed quite to acting quite flippant, given the importance of with whom he was speaking.

Luna returned to us with the guard in tow and told us to follow. We were led through the halls of the palace until we were stopped and told to wait. Luna walked on in to the room leaving us and the guard. I could have tried to start a conversation with any of them but would have been awkward, we knew each other loosely at best; we were for all intents and purposes strangers in a strange land. Two pegasi, they were guarding the door to the room, one on each side. Their wings seemed to be more 'natural' than the others; they had feathered wings, like Luna's. They wore golden helmets and chest plates. I assumed it to be some sort of alloy; pure gold was too soft for anything like that. I noted this observation to the others so they could revel in my pseudo-intellectualism.

"Gold could be stronger here." Miles suggested. "When you're in a land of talking equines it is pretty much 'screw logic'." Thomas made a muffled noise to signify his agreement with Miles.

"Has there been anything recorded on them in the past?" Celestia asked. It was doubtful as in her long lifespan she had never encountered them.

"We haven't found anything yet. I would most definitely like send someone to talk with them whenever possible." The academic earth pony responded. Over the years, with her students, the xenobiologists had documented in detail things from beyond Equestrian borders.

"That depends on the news my sister brings." Celestia said, acknowledging Luna's entry to the room. She had returned faster than expected and was unharmed.

"They seem to be reasonable, so I brought them here for us to begin relations. Their native language is foreign to me but at least one of them has shown the ability to speak Prench."

Celestia felt better from hearing the news . Although she was most able, she gained little but ill feelings from using her power to dispose of threats. "Can we begin work on a translation spell?"

"With a sample of their language we can. But I feel another would be better suited to that task; somepony with a…firmer grasp of modern Equestrian." Celestia nodded and Luna continued, "They made an unusual request for something called diplomatic immunity."

"An unfamiliar concept to you? During your…" Celestia paused up for a second thinking of the right word. "Absence, it became an issue that other cultures have different laws. Diplomatic immunity is the protection from prosecution of crimes that are culture exclusive and or of a diplomatic nature. It shows consideration for other's views, as have they in asking."

Attempts to start a conversation with Grey failed. We got his first name from him and that's it. Most times he would just deflect the question on us or brush it off with something like 'we're not friends'. I don't know how he would make many with an attitude like that. However, he didn't seem to want to be here, so I gave the benefit of the doubt to him.

Luna walked out from the room and motioned for us to go in. Awaiting us was a tall white Pegasus unicorn. She was taller than Thomas, the tallest of us. She had a mane of various colours (insert joke about hair dye expenditure here). She unfolded her wings, attempting to impress. It worked.

"Greetings sirs, I am Princess Celestia. I am the main political leader of Equestria. My sister Luna has explained the situation to me. It would seem through no choice of your own, you have ended up in our Country. It has also been explained to me you would like diplomatic immunity, a right normally reserved for ambassadors; it is not a request I can authorise on a whim, without reason. Once we resolve the issue of language we can discuss this further." I echoed her words to my companions.

"May we talk one to one?" Celestia turned to walk to the other side of the hall. I was about to follow when Thomas shoved something into my hand. I looked down to see what it was.

"Useful for resolving diplomatic disputes." He said, almost like he had experience.

"It will probably jump out my hand if I try to fire it." I said accepting, it anyway. It was uncomfortable, but I managed put the handgun in one of my pockets, despite the fact it was so large. He walked across the room to Celestia.

"You seem like a sensible individual and you are welcome here. Where you come from things may work differently, so let me impart you some knowledge; I am responsible for raising and lowering the sun. Every day. As I please. And, if necessary, where I please. " Did I believe that was possible? No. Did I believe she was lying? No. I have to give it to her: she knows how to play mind games. Lulling you into a false sense of security with her kindness before, BAM: I posses power that can kill you on a whim, just if you were getting any ideas. I really wanted to say something smart at that point, something to do with the fringe threat of nuclear terrorism and how I'm used to the fact that heat could find its way to me anytime, without prior notice. Instead I just nodded. Dumbly. Knowing the trick, unfortunately, doesn't make you any less susceptible to it. Celestia carried on casually: "Although the two of us can communicate, your companions may be a problem. To remedy that I would like to take a sample of your language to work on a translation spell."

"Will taking this 'sample' hurt?" I queried, always a safe question to ask.

"That depends on your psyche and how easy you make it for me. Just think prominently about your language." Celestia reassured me. This probably would have been a good time to say I'm fluent in over seven but I chose to think about English. By thinking of English, I mean common words and phrases, grammar rules, pronunciation and the like.

I saw a glow encompass her horn. My head felt weird, like blood was rushing through it. My vision darkened slightly, and then it returned. I looked over to see Thomas's hand on his weapons safety. I looked at him and he promptly threw his hands in the air and shrugged.

"That was new." I said, turning back to the princess.

"Your reaction to magic was quite a strong one." The princess noted, before moving on. "It has been a long time since I last encountered a new language. Some of your colloquialisms are intriguing. I must pass this knowledge on to begin work immediately." Celestia nodded her head in courtesy began to walk away. I noticed she had a sun on her flank: I must ask what these symbols mean sometime. "If you feel up to it, there should be a unicorn who wishes to speak to you." I walked towards the same exit as Celestia, stopping behind Thomas.

"-And then he goes and completely overshadows me." Miles ranted to Grey. "He didn't even put half as much effort in as did but-"

"Miles." Thomas said sternly, in an effort to make him stop. "Ben. Benjamin. Miles!" Miles stopped. "Stop talking gibberish to the gu… to him, you're scaring, if not boring, him."

"Oh he's getting some of it, right?" Miles looked at Grey, somewhat pleadingly. Grey nodded his head slowly; this planted a look of triumph on the face of Miles. At the very least out of this exchange, I got see that a nod of the head was a shared gesture.

"Hey guys," I called out for their attention. "I'm wanted by someone. Can I trust guys to play nice while I'm gone?"

"Sure thing, mom." Thomas remarked. "If you can't leave use alone in a land full of talking horses-"

"Magical talking horses." Miles chimed in.

"-Magical talking horses that don't speak English, where can you?" There was a notable pause before Thomas gave his straight answer in a more serious tone, "We'll be fine."

A load relieved, I exited the room. The guards at the door glared at me: it would have been unnerving, if it wasn't for the fact I had over a foot in size on them and a fir arm in my pocket. I can't blame them for it though; I'm an alien to them. I'm glad that ponies don't have the over-curiosity humans do, or else I would have been sliced open at nearest air force base before I could write this.

I saw a unicorn waiting for me: she had an aquamarine coat (had to check my paint chart for that. Would have said mauve but apparently that is a type of purple). Her amber eyes seemed to perk up. She walked up to me and began to introduce herself, in Equestrian.

"I can't speak Equestrian." I tried to say, using pieces of the language I had heard. To my current understanding it came out more like, 'I can no say Equestria'. It wasn't a bad first attempt… in comparison with my first Urdu sentences, it was quite good. I was given a look of confusion before the unicorn laughed in an awkward fashion and tried again.

"Sorry about that. I'm Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings." The unicorn offered a hoof out to me, which I shook. It was a little awkward due to the size difference.

Lyra Heartstrings was easily considered to be a successful pony. Graduating from Celestia's school for gifted unicorns proved that. She was also a figure in the scientific community, having written papers on bipedal creatures. She did it only for the academic credit it came with though. Music was her passion, that's what she wanted to be remembered for.

Lyra led Erik into a room of a very modest size, a desk with chairs on both sides. A bookcase was to the side. Some sort of study or interview room. Lyra used magic to bring over an empty book, a quill and a length of measuring tape.

"Starting with some measurements?" Erick asked, raising his shoulders, ready to stretch out his arms. Lyra nodded, grabbing the tape and beginning to check his height. Lyra noted that he measured 1.81metres. "An average height." Erick said.

"Arms." Lyra ordered, starting to measure arm span. "So what do they call you? Don't answer that, you're Erik, bad question. What I meant to ask is what is your species called?"

"We call ourselves humans, but the formal species classification is homosapiens. Although I doubt you call yourselves Equus-whatever." Lyra nodded in response, whilst titling the page. He made a fair point. The arm span measured the same as his height. "I weigh in at about 63kilos last I checked, that's a little below average… want to know my shoe size next?" Erik asked, Lyra couldn't make out if he was annoyed or genuinely trying to be helpful.

"That won't be necessary, you can sit." They took seats on opposing ends. The chair looked uncomfortably small for Erik, but he didn't complain, just shuffled. This gave Lyra a good look at his hairless face. It was easier to look at than other bipedal creatures, such as minotaurs. It was a pale colour. He had two eyes that were small in comparison to any ponies. Some sort of cartilage started from between the eyes and stopped a little above the-

"You going to ask any questions or just stare?" Erik asked, bringing Lyra into the present.

"Just start where you feel comfortable, I'll interrupt if I have any questions."

"That would be nowhere. Well, my full name is Erik Klein. I am male. I was born on the 3rd of October, 1990. That date might not mean much to you, but in my country, that's a pretty significant date. I'm from a planet called earth; it is the third closest planet to the sun in its solar system. The planet is covered in roughly three quarters by water. The main continents are…" After a lesson in earth's geography, he went on to talk about religions and political systems. He continued talking for around an hour, listing out one hundred and ninety six countries.

"Not to question the intelligence of humans, but I am quite a knowledgeable pony and I can't name every country we have made contact with." Lyra commented.

Erik smiled, "Neither can I." he said raising his smartphone, "Virtual encyclopaedia."

"Virtual? As in not real?" Lyra questioned, not fully understanding the concept.

"'Digital, would be a better word." Erik grimaced, before explaining the premise of digital technology and its benefits. Lyra wanted to get her hooves on Erik's phone, but he was adamant about not letting her near it. Which was fair: it did look fragile. Lyra noted this all down, taking in all the aspects of extra-terrestrial life. It was all outside her field of expertise, but who cared? She felt privileged to be one of the first to speak with an alien, and lucky that she chose to pick up a second language. She asked some questions which in hindsight were plain stupid. She learnt however that both their races had a pop culture featuring aliens as strange coloured versions of themselves. They had a few more conversations discussing the similarities and differences of human and pony culture, until one interesting topic arose.

"So, you a big fan of music Lyra?" I asked. I quite liked Lyra, I admit. She was intelligent, experienced and a good listener, but not afraid to ask questions.

"Yeah I am," That was no surprise; the unicorn with a lyre on their side likes music. "It's what I do. Well, at least when I'm not meeting people from other planets. Can you play an instrument?"

"A bit of acoustic guitar. I can't play melodies very well though, prefer rhythm parts. Let me take a guess, you can play the lyre?"

"That obvious?" She deadpanned.

"Sort of." I commented, before reaching my hand into my pocket and pulling out my phone. I pushed the central button and the screen came on. I went on to the music player and was greeted by a list of mp.3 files; a fraction of what I had on my desktop. "Want to hear some human music?" Lyra nodded energetically: she must have wondered how I would do such a thing with no instrument. "Right then, let's start with something that stood the test of time. This piece is about three hundred years old." Tapping the screen, the music began to play. The screen read Vivaldi/Four Seasons (Winter). I let the music play for a while before commenting on "Hear that pizzicato? The plucking of the strings instead of bowing them?" Lyra nodded and listened on.

"Are you a musician?" Lyra asked, curious.

"Grade two, listening and appraising music, leaving secondary school." I said with some pride. I let the music play while I searched for a more contemporary song; you couldn't go wrong with a bit of Michael right?

A/N: What do you think? I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I have to give proofreading credit to BlackRoseRaven. If you like my work or not check them out; they are leagues better at writing than I am.


	2. Chapter 2

Unintended Envoy

Chapter2: Peace meets Harmony

Thomas changed the frequency on his radio handset back to its default and breathed a sigh of defeat. He threw himself backwards onto the bed he was sitting on. He had tried to broadcast on just under half the frequencies he could. He got no response from any. Each failed attempt got him progressively more irritated, until that last one. It was then the reality, the permanence, of his predicament hit.

The sound of a whirlpool could be heard from the next room. Less than a minute later Miles exited the adjoining bathroom. Thomas heard him say something, likely on Equestrian plumbing. He gave an 'uh huh' in response.

"Chin up; that's what my dad always said to me. Never took a word of his advice and I turned out fine: not the best I could be, but fine." This did little to alleviate the mood. "When I was young I used to be into this type of thing, unicorns and stuff."

"Didn't you think that was…" Thomas tried to ask.

"No. I liked what I liked; I didn't care that much about what others thought. It wasn't a strategy that won me many friends as I went through school, but..."

"Wait, when you say young," Thomas said, his voice taking on a more neutral tone, instead of the depressed one from before. Mile's plan was working. "How old are we talking?"

"I'm talking fourteen, maybe fifteen."

"Well, that's all good for you then." Thomas laughed. "What about me? I've got friends, family, a life."

Miles remained calm; he wanted to retort back. Did he think he didn't have those things? Getting annoyed never helped. "This probably is only temporary. Maybe you're in coma right now, or your mind has snapped from stress. Even if we really are in this 'Equestria' we can find a way back."

Thomas pushed himself off his back and glowered at Miles, making eye contact for the first point in their conversation. "How long then? A week? A month? A year? I can't just walk on back to my old life after that long. What do I say to everyone when people ask me where I've been? I can't think of any lie that can justify disappearing like that, can you? But I can't just tell the truth now, can I?" Thomas paused to collect himself for the next part of his rant. Miles seized the opportunity to calm him.

"Stop!" Once Miles's loud outburst had Thomas's attention, he carried on in a more normal voice. "You're overthinking this. Don't let pressure get to you." Miles thought of an idea to bring Thomas back to himself. "Hypothetical situation: someone walks through that door right there, they have a gun, what do you do?"

"I would…I would attempt to talk them down or try and get close enough to disarm them. If I couldn't and they seem like they are a threat to human life, I'd have to shoot them. Centre mass."

"So you would try to control the situation? That's exactly what you need to do here. Be on top yourself." Thomas rose from the bed. He ran his hands over his face and let out a deep breath.

"You're right. Thanks for that. It's just that…"

"It's my job. And try not to think about it. " Miles said walking over to Thomas to give him a friendly hug.

"That's a little too far." Thomas said, reaching to pull Miles off of him.

"So you can control the weather?" I asked. From what I could tell Equestria was a geocentric system, as weird as it sounds. The solar system was there specifically for the planet, the sun and moon were manipulated by the inhabitants. I'm not even going to try to fully comprehend how the whole thing works; that was after just a few questions. The theory of creationism now resonates inside me more than before.

"You don't?" Lyra asked, inadvertently answering my question. I gave a simple no in response and she went on to ask, "Then how do you deal with bad weather?"

"Good question. Since we have no control we just try to predict it. The weather is not just sudden. You can tell if it will rain from looking at the thickness and colour of the clouds. Things like hurricanes and earthquakes take more than simple observation though. You sure you know your way to the room?" I stopped to ask Lyra.

"Of course I do" Lyra scoffed, "it's just a few doors down."

Trusting her, I set off again. I noticed that she had to put some effort to keep up with my fast strides, so I slowed. Why didn't she mention it?

Upon receiving the letter from the princess requesting her and her friend's presence as soon as possible, Twilight Sparkle was quick to inform everypony of the situation. The letter had no mention of what Celestia wished to speak about. This allowed Twilight's rather active imagination to fill in the blanks.

They departed as soon as their daily duties allowed. After a rather slow and uneventful train ride - on which Twilight rather ironically read a book on time dilation - the steam locomotive had reached the city of Canterlot and the alicorn and her friends disembarked.

"I ain't to sure about jus' leaving on such short notice." An orange earth pony voiced her concerns.

"Well, I for one am always happy to take a trip to Canterlot for a few days." An ivory unicorn remarked.

"Even I need a break from being awesome. Sometimes." A cyan Pegasus said, casually flying alongside.

"This is a business trip first. The letter made it sound important." Twilight made clear.

"Don't worry Twilight. We can put the fun on hold for a little while, right?" A pink earth pony asked. Pinkie, ever the optimist, probably thought this visit would be a surprise party. A lot of her tangible thoughts led to parties, or equally juvenile things; one of her most admirable traits. The group let out a chorus of affirmatives.

They carried on walking on towards through Canterlot, surprisingly turning few heads. They were known across Equestria, and each of the six had their own reaction to that. But it seemed a gossip had taken attention away from the fact that there was a group, who could be considered national heroes, walking down the streets. They mentioned something to do with unidentified creatures being spotted in the vicinity of Canterlot. This did nought but fuel Twilight's worry.

The guards let them through with no issues. They actually doubted they had the authority to stop them.

After chatting for a while, a guard showed up to the room. I couldn't understand what they said, but I assumed it to be a summons from one of the princesses. I nodded before turning to face Lyra.

"I guess that this is important, so I don't know. I'll see you around, I guess." I said. As I spoke I saw a sudden drop in her enthusiasm, I made a move in order to remedy that. "You got any way I can contact you? I'm used to exchanging phone numbers or emails. Do you have an address I can write to?" She nodded in response. I pulled out my phone and opened a memo, my fingers glazed over the on-screen keyboard.

We were led back to the hall where we had first met Celestia. She was stood waiting idly, with an air of expectance around her.

"Your turnaround is pretty fast." I spoke first.

"I'm going need you to get closer together." Celestia chose to ignore my statement. Not that there was much to say on the subject. I relayed the request and they complied. A familiar glow encompassed Celestia's horn. This time there was no disorientation, just a euphoric sensation. Then thoughts began to enter my mind; thoughts that were not my own. They soon began to solidify into memories. I had just learnt the basis of an entire language in a matter of seconds. It was so easy that I almost felt I had wasted years of my life.

"English and Equestrian and I can't think of the right words, that normal?" Thomas said. His language was fluctuating between English and Equestrian. He seemed to be off balance, much like how I felt upon my first interaction with magic.

"It should subside shortly. It is just an unfortunate side effect; for non-linguists it can be too much to process at once." Celestia explained. "Now, I do believe we are long overdue a formal introduction. You already know my name and role, may I ask for yours?"

Thomas was about to introduce himself, but I raised my hand for him to stop. I wasn't ready for him to screw up a first impression by brashly introducing himself in a mixed cocktail of languages. I managed to formulate a reasonable introduction.

"I'm Erik Klein. I'm an interpreter for the United Nations; that would make me their highest ranking diplomatic authority present, by virtue of experience." I said, making my position clear. I had no real experience as a diplomat myself, but I had spent a great deal of time echoing them. This meant at the least, I had the theory down.

I lowered my hand signalling for the others to introduce themselves, hopefully in keeping with the standard I had set.

"Doctor Benjamin Miles," He raised a hand in greeting. "Psychiatrist. It's a pleasure."

"Thomas Beckman. Security officer," He motioned to the insignia on the shoulder of his shirt. "That's a bit of a give away." Thomas was surprisingly quite polite; my fears were unfounded. An aching in my stomach reminded me of something quite important.

"May I suggest that we eat first? I haven't eaten since yesterday morning, and I'm starting to feel it." Celestia looked us over, Thomas agreed with me, and Miles apparently ate lunch.

"We can." Celestia stated. Her face then furrowed a little. "I'm unsure as to your dietary requirements, so I think it's best to inform you we don't have any meats."

"I've got something quite simple in mind; you should have it." I said

"I can live without it." Miles said

"Without protein? Let me know how that turns out."

We made our way through to a dining area. It was a long and there was, as expected, a long table dominated the centre of the room. It was covered by a mauve table linen. On the walls there were various paintings, mostly landscapes, but a few were portraits. I'm not sure if I was supposed to have known who they were.

"It might sound a little odd, but may I have a bowl of boiling water?" I got a few weird looks shot at me.

"I'll just have some salad." Miles said after a while, probably thinking through what to say first. I can't imagine why people would consider a salad a meal. It wasn't bad as starter or a side dish, but in my opinion it doesn't quantify as a meal.

"If you have something pastry (pasta-ary? Pasta-ee? Feels weird writing that down)." Thomas said. Now pasta was something more my speed; couple some pasta with a baked potato and you have one of the best meals around. If only I could make myself some of that right now.

"I think I'll go for a salad also." Celestia said. The pony nodded and took their leave. "While we wait, perhaps you could tell me about yourselves."

"Sorry if I lose enthusiasm at parts; I've done this once already today." I then began to recount my life. My own voice sounded progressively more flat and dry.

"Our princess, Celestia, is currently entertaining guests. I'm afraid I have to ask you leave or remain patient." The guard pony recited from his mental list of predetermined responses.

This irked Twilight slightly; being held up like this was one of the lesser joys of visiting her mentor. "It is by her request that we are here."

"I'm going to go verify that; can you remain here?" The guard didn't wait for an answer before leaving.

"Why does everything take so long with them? I still don't know why they searched us for weapons, where would I keep it?" Rainbow put her hooves in the air and did a little spin to highlight the fact she was wearing no clothes under which to hide anything. "Up my…" She let out a breath, her frustration vented.

"They're just doing their job, Rainbow dear."

"Well shouldn't they be, I don't know, protecting Equestria or something?"

"There isn't anything for them to protect Equestria from. It's internationally recognised as a neutral country." Twilight stated. World politics wasn't her favoured subject, but she was determined to know at least something about everything.

"Nopony can be that stuck-up serious all the time."

They then waited in silence until, a little under a minute later; Celestia came out of the door. They all acknowledged this and greeted her in their own way. Twilight was going to say something, but Celestia cut her off.

"Hello everypony." Celestia saw that Twilight was leaning forward slightly, poised to ask a question. "I'm not sure what you have heard; I'm fairly sure something will have escaped these walls. Equestria has encountered a never seen before species." This sparked a series of questions.

Where do they come from?

Are they intelligent?

What do they look like?

They don't eat ponies…do they?

Are they friendly?

Have they had a proper welcome?

"Don't worry: they're sapient, and not aggressive; I would advise you don't offend them though. They look to be highly evolved primates. They say they are a part of an international organisation. Of another planet." There were few ponies who could admit to having met extra-terrestrials and be taken as serious. "I'm sure I've raised more questions, but it is best to ask them yourselves."

In a true joke at my expense by fate, as the dishes were being served, Celestia was called away. I remember Lyra mentioning the elements of harmony; powerful magical artefacts bound to only certain individuals. No wonder she didn't protest us having weapons; we would never be able to get away with using them.

Common etiquette dictated I wait until she was present: I wouldn't abandon manners in front of a foreign leader. I noticed Miles, who was sitting across from me, was waiting also.

"I'm not stopping you from starting." I told him.

"I know. But I have the willpower to wait, unlike another individual." Miles directed his last comment towards Thomas, who had already, begun to consume his pasta at a steady speed.

"It's not that I lack it." Thomas replied. "Food just comes before manners (I'm glad I wrote that life changing mantra down)." Thomas then addressed me, "What is with the water anyway? I doubt you're going to drink it."

"Good question." I said, reaching into my left pocket and pulling something out. "Instant Noodles." I announced, lifting the foil coated wonder high enough to be seen. "This was going to be my lunch yesterday, but I was busy, so I promoted them to dinner. And you know how that turned out." I tore open the aluminium foil and dropped the dried noodles into the boiling water. It made a splash, but not one large enough to escape the bowl.

"Wouldn't aluminum be worth a fair price here?" Thomas asked. It was a good point, but I think the quantity would be lacking.

"Aluminium." Miles chimed in.

"Two to one: looks like the vowel sticks." I said, twirling the noodles in the bowl with my fork. "Good Idea though." The noodles looked about ready now so I set down the fork.

As I did this Celestia returned, or at least that's who I assumed it to be. Turning around I saw her with six others. They looked at us, unsure how to proceed. I decided to just accept this to be a staple of future introductions and break the ice.

"I might look at little strange, but I'm quite urbane." This seemed to loosen them up some.

"There are plenty of seats." Miles stated. They seemed to accept this offer and sat at the table. The number six divides quite nicely into three to make for two each.

"Hi my name's Pinkie Pie, what's yours?" Thomas was the first to be subjected.

"Thomas Beckman. It's nice to meet you." His was voice rather uneasy. I admit that cheerful tone was a little unnervingly strong.

"You know I've met lots of ponies, non ponies too, but you're the first whatever you are I've ever met. You like cupcakes?"

"Not surprising, we're not from this planet. And who really doesn't like a good cupcake?" This reply seemed to satisfy Pinkie, as well as attracting the attention of a Pegasus.

"So if you're an alien, does that mean you have a blaster?" Rainbow asked, to which Thomas laughed.

"In a way it is. It doesn't shoot lasers or plasma, but it serves its purpose. Maybe I'll let you fire it sometime, if I like you."

"Doctor Benjamin Miles; psychiatry, before you ask." Miles wasted little time acquainting himself with the two ponies near him.

"An' what's that?" The orange pony asked.

"Think of it as a mind doctor." A purple Pegasus-unicorn helpfully stated. "I'm Twilight Sparkle."

"Twilight Sparkle?" Miles cleared his throat. It was subtle, but I could tell he was stifling a laugh. "That name has some interesting connotations."

"And what would those be?" Twilight pressed.

"Oh, I really wouldn't…err…worry about it. So what do you do?" Miles tried to change the subject.

"Officially, my three vocations would be: Princess of Equestria, studying the magic of friendship and head of the Ponyville library."

"Magic of friendship? Magic…" Miles said.

"The way you talk about it, is there no magic where you come from?"

"No magic as such, but there is the psionic theory." Miles responded. A few brows were raised, mine weren't. "Psi is theorised to be a sub-particle generated by synapses. If given the correct electrical or thaumatic stimulus, psi is able to be projected to transmit a signal to an object, being able exert control over it in the same way you would control your legs."

"Did you say thaumatic?" Twilight seemed to be interested in the subject.

"It was thought up by fiction writers. There is no proof it exists." I told her. I'm quite agnostic, I didn't dismiss things with no proof, I just didn't accept them.

"Oh, it's real. Magic is based around the channelling of thaumatic energy." I sort of just zoned out of that conversation. I had enough just from taking in the simple explanations from Lyra.

"So you get to meet lots of influential people in your line of work? I recall something about being a diplomat?"

"I do get to meet some important people on occasions, most of the time not so much. This is still something out of my comfort zone though. I'm just an interpreter. I'm not qualified to be the ambassador of my country, never mind species. We didn't decide come here, it was just a case of wrong time, wrong place. Sorry, I was beginning to get side-tracked there miss…" I trailed off as a cue for her introduction.

"Rarity, and please don't worry yourself over it." I nodded, taking a mouthful of my noodles.

"So miss Rarity, you seem to know about me, but I'm afraid I know so little about you." I really wanted to take the subject off me; while good for my ego, it got old fast.

"Oh I work in fashion, as a designer. Your shirt, it looks like cotton, but mixed with something else." I looked my shirt over; white, long sleeved, front button-up, poly-cotton, not something you would wear on your days off work.

"Polyester." I answered. "An artificial fibre. I'm not sure how they make it though; something to do with hydrocarbons, I…think. Science isn't my forte."

"Clothing seems to be more of a luxury for you, than it is for me. You have that nice white coat, while all I have is…" I undid the button on my cuff and rolled the sleeve down. "Just a few hairs." I noted.

"Luxury for some maybe. I count myself among those that believe that it adds an air of civility, in addition to accentuating natural features." I gave a muffled acknowledgement from behind a mouth of noodles.

"Your friend seems nervous." I said in a lower voice, still probably louder than I should have. "Is there anything I can do to help that or…"

"Oh Fluttershy? She gets like that with a lot of ponies."

"This may come of as a little random, but when I was younger my parents bought a kitten," This seemed to bring Fluttershy out a little. She still didn't say anything though. "It was scared of her own shadow. That doesn't sound like unusual behaviour, but she never grew out of it. Would never sit in sun."

"That's awful." Fluttershy spoke out, surprising me; I gave a confused 'uh?' "Being scared to do things isn't nice." She elaborated. "I know."

Celestia was content to watch while she ate. The two groups seemed to get on well. The humans used their hands to dexterously manipulate the cutlery provided. Erik's meal was most intriguing; It was some sort preserved pre-prepared meal, that reacted in warm water. This, along with their clothes made of non-natural fibres and the factory standard quality of their weapons, seemed to highlight them as a more technologically advanced and industrialised.

There was the chance they were more societally developed also. They claimed to be from an international organisation, a very unusual concept. There were some businesses that had branches in other countries, but they suffered from communication difficulties. She waited for a lull in conversation before talking.

"Erik?"

"Yeah?" He responded.

"What does your 'United Nations' do? You mention what it is but haven't really said much they do."

"Well…they…protect human rights, provide humanitarian aid and…you have no idea what those things are do you." He paused, thinking of a way to rephrase. "They ensure that people are treated fairly by governments, provide help to those in disaster areas, as well as providing a platform for countries to talk. In some cases they have the right to use armed force to," Erik cleared his throat, "'maintain or restore international peace and security'. They can't solve every problem, but we haven't had any world scale wars since founding."

"Do you think we would be able to benefit from such an organisation?" The answer to Celestia seemed like a yes. The overall goal seemed to hit in line with Equestria's, to promote a better place.

"I'd have to know the political climate to be sure." Erik shrugged. "But I doubt anything ill could come from it." Celestia was silent for a few seconds.

"I do believe I have a proposition for you. If you can gather support and establish the infrastructure for such an organisation, I can look into formulating a teleportation spell to see you home."

"What you ask is not something that sounds easy." Erik said.

"Neither is what I'd be giving you in return. To formulate a spell of such magnitude is not simple. I take it you wish to accept?"

"I'll give it all I can." Erick said, giving a nod of resolve. "But how do I start?"

"The easiest place to start would be the crystal empire to the north. I happen to know the rulers quite well, and I'm sure they would see things the way I do and offer support to you."

"If you know them so well, why not just write to them?" Erik asked.

"That would defeat the object of you gaining experience. Let this be the trial attempt, since they will more than likely agree. "

"Thomas. Ben." I said, interrupting an awesomely awesome anecdote and an exchange of political ideals. I told them the idea. Miles was quite enthusiastic about it. Thomas, not so much; he was there for the ride though.

Celestia excused herself from the room to fetch something to commemorate the moment. Miles noted it was premature, and I was inclined to agree with him, but I'm not one to create self-fulfilling prophecies.

While we waited, Thomas approached me with an offer

"Fancy a quick shooting lesson? I'm not a marksman, but I reckon I could show you a thing or two."

"You sure you're not trying to impress a certain pony?" A shooting lesson would also serve as a demonstration of firearms to Rainbow Dash. I pointed out that firing a gun in an indoor environment, whilst guards were already on edge was not the best idea. I told him 'maybe later:' the nicer way of saying 'No, and don't bring it up again'.

I started to talk to Pinkie pie; she asked me questions at a rate I struggled to comprehend. When I told her my name she mentioned that it 'sounded funny' in comparison to the others. I had some comment about Equestrian naming conventions, but I just let it rest and said that I was born somewhere different to them.

Celestia returned with her sister Luna, and another pony in tow carrying a camera. The Pegasus had its wings curled around a tripod.

"A photograph." Thomas said with realization. "How are we going to set this up?"

"Just follow what I say." Rarity said, seizing the opportunity to take control.

"Celestia and Luna side by side at the back. Then, I think we should have Thomas on the left and Benjamin on the right. Now if you bend down Erik." I complied, dropping on to one knee. "Now if you girls can just take up position around Erik." To my left there was Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Rarity squeezed into the space on my right between me and Pinkie Pie.

After the picture was taken, I said my goodbyes to everyone in the room and decided to go back to my room. On my way out, I saw Thomas talking with Rarity. He made a gesture to the tactical vest he was wearing; how heavy are those things? Just like a jacket, or so I would imagine. Miles had intercepted Luna, who was about to leave.

I passed a few ponies on the way back. Some accepted me, some gave me looks. As I came in there was a book on the bed, a note resting on top. I walked over to the bed and sat on it. I picked up the note a looked it over. The spell apparently didn't grant me the ability to read; written Equestrian is surprisingly natural for an alien language. It operated on a twenty-six letter alphabet; some of the letters were familiar too. I read it through a few times, using phonetics and reading for context as my strategies for deciphering the letter.

_Erik _

_I'd like for you to keep a record of your experiences in Equestria and beyond. While a knowledgeable and fully-fledged stallion in your own right, I feel you will grow more from the task you've started this day than anywhere else. To have documentation of your struggles that can be viewed generations from now would be most useful to me. This is completely optional and I would not be offended if you do not take the book_

_Yours faithfully_

_Princess Celestia _

_P.S My congratulations if you have gotten this far into the letter by yourself._

As you can probably guess by the fact I'm writing this, I went along with it.

"I would like to see the princess please." Miles told them.

The guards eyed him. Before asking him, "And what business do you have?"

"I'm here to seek her expertise." Realising how many more questions this could go on for. "She's aware of my presence."

Miles removed Erik's phone from his pocket. It was locked by a passcode, but it was a simple one; 1-2-3-4 didn't work, so he tried 4-3-2-1. Even if Erik somehow found out he had taken it, it would be worth the potential gains of this plan.

"Hello there, I've come here to ask something of you. Remember when I asked you about astronomy?"

Luna looked at Miles with interest; if he wanted to consult her on anything she was glad it was an area she had knowledge in.

"I was wondering if you have some star charts? I think we could use them to co-ordinate the position of this planet in comparison to mine." Miles pulled up a star chart up from the virtual encyclopaedia. The image was of sub-par quality, which didn't help things.

"Ok." Miles said, a nervous start and rightfully so; he had a star chart and his own semi-hobbyist knowledge. Both told him the scale, and the futility of what he was attempting. He looked over a chart Luna had set on the table. "Which one is the brightest?"

"This one, Elta Carein, in the epony nebula." Luna pointed with her hoof.

"Elta Carein?" Miles echoed to himself, pouring over his chart. "That name is similar to…" He traced his finger along the screen before tapping. "Eta Carinae. Brightest star in the Milky Way. My galaxy."

"This star is In ours also." Luna commented.

"Okay, same galaxy, something to go on." Miles said.

"Minotuka is a dual-star. That is a distinguishable feature." Luna said. Miles noted the slight curvature of the group of surrounding stars.

"If only it was a little more so. The Orion belt has one, and a similar group of stars around it. Also is home to the horsehead nebula, we call it that because," Miles pushed the phone towards Luna so she could get a better view. "Take a guess."

"Interesting. Those two points leave a very broad area. Space is also vertical." Luna pointed out.

"With 3D charts and a few of NASA's computers this would be possible, but we don't have those." Miles sighed.

After a over little over two hours of productive work, they still had quite literally a universe to cover. The late hour was also beginning to take its toll on Miles.

"You should call it a night, you look weary."

"Thanks. What about you?" Miles asked. Luna had remained at a constant energy level.

"I'm going to work on it longer. Sleep is something I can go without for longer than most; I could go for a month without sleep, but by the end of it I would hate to see myself."

"I'd hate to one to point it out, but don't you have some sort of duties?"

"Nothing I can't delegate. You should try being a leader sometime, it's rather fun." Miles smiled at this on his way out.

"Good luck and good night." Miles said. It wasn't until he had left the room he realised something. Erik would want his phone back.


End file.
